RECOLLECTIONS OF A REALITY
Music by Jouni Koskela (May 2009)
Lyrics by Jouni Koskela (June 2010)

As years gone by, I've had this on my mind;
(I'm) to tell you the story where all of this began


THESE WORDS ARE MY WOES
Music by Jouni Koskela (May 2010)
Lyrics by Jouni Koskela (June 2010)

I was born under lights of a flickering blunder, dignified by subliminal slumber
Scarred by irreverent truths about what these walls have witnessed
Magnified by the fact that all covered up the tools I was raised to praise
In time the illusion cracked, I discovered, in here I am not safe

Terrified by oppressive behavior, too afraid to become any braver
Retained from my rights to receive respective treatment
(That's why I am incomplete)

Malevolent proof of another dispute, bruised by permeating view
Undone, unsung, unwilling to come and change this only world I knew
But still there was not one, not two, but three who tried to save my soul
Holepunched the mind and made me take it until my thoughts wore cold

Terrified by oppressive behavior, too afraid to become any braver
Retained from my rights to receive respective treatment
(That's why I am incomplete)
Anesthetized by violent demeanor, accompanied with depressive propension
This youth was crushed before it began to fulfill its intuition
(These words are my woes)

So now you know, the words that are my woes
Stand by to hear the dreams in stillborn-woven disguise
Rewound the line, twenty years in time
The point where innocence decided to leave the eyes

[Guitar Solo by Jouni Koskela]

SCARRED IN SUBLIMINAL SLUMBER
Music by Jouni Koskela (October 2010)
Lyrics by Jouni Koskela (April 2011)

Some time ago a boy became a man
Unable to take heed on all the reprimands
Unequipped to see the consequences of his deeds
But justified his acts telling wrath empowers sickly needs

This travesty is sickening me
Confined to your decay akin to virulent disdain
Bewildering is this agony
The scars from my sleep are still running deep

Within adversity, nothing is right
Living in agony, losing the sanity without a fight

No anomaly amid adversities
Unveiled to deities providing contorted reason to breach the pleas

This travesty is sickening me
Confined to your decay akin to virulent disdain
Bewildering is this agony
The scars from my sleep are still running deep

Within the misery, nothing is right
Living in agony, losing the sanity without a fight

Sleep now my child, time will break your mind
Make your sons blind to reveries of this kind

[Guitar Solo by Antti Karhu]

Within the misery, nothing is right
Living in agony, losing the sanity without a fight


FROM A SANGUINE HEART
Music by Jouni Koskela (February 2011)
Lyrics by Jouni Koskela (May 2011)

A childlike conception of world
Innocence wrapped in a heartful of gold
Tailored to serve the values of life
With just enough love to get by

But the demons weaken strength from him
Obliterates the will to resist giving in

From a sanguine heart of forgotten child
Seeking solace from his own world inside

With a hope to find someone to love
To flatline without (any) fear of the above
Ascend through puppets amid their fears
Wipe the desolation from sanguine tears

But the demons weaken strength from him
Obliterates the will to resist giving in

From a sanguine heart of forgotten child
Seeking solace from his own world inside
Hope will carve a wound upon one another
Until convinced that there is something to bother for

[Guitar Solo by Jouni Koskela]

And there's a will to make this right
Turn the tables when the time is ripe
Ever waiting for the waiting to end
To revive the urge in me to amend

But the demons weaken strength from him
Obliterates the will to resist giving in

From a sanguine heart of forgotten child
Seeking solace from his own world inside
Hope will carve a wound upon one another
Until convinced that there is nothing to bother for


ENDEAVOURS INANE
Music by Antti Jylhä / Jouni Koskela (April 2010)
Lyrics by Jouni Koskela (July 2010)

Let me tell you 'bout a kid who never got to grow up without feeling himself unworthy and vain
Instead he was disapproved for where his desires led him feeling safe and secure
You refused to listen, to support to comprehend
Rendered my endeavors foolish and inane

Thank you father that I never had the chance to please your true will about what you wanted me to be
Now that you can't control my deeds, will you bend in anxiety or cope with what I stand for?
You refused to listen, to support to comprehend
Rendered my endeavors foolish and inane

[Guitar Solo by Jussi Laakso]

Take your time dealing with what I have become
Don't take pride: I did this all without your love

Please do forgive me for what I never wanted to say straight to your face without feeling myself
Ungrateful for the things you gave me: scars that never heal - I despise your life to all extents
You refused to listen, to support or comprehend
I'll never stop holding you in utter contempt

Take your time dealing with what I have become
Know this line: I did this purely out of spite


THE MOTHERS OF SONS
Music by Jouni Koskela (July 2010)
Lyrics by Jouni Koskela (May 2011)

In the place we spent our youthful years
We were being neglected, even rejected
Caught between our most profound fears
Held confined in resentment, withdrawn from contentment

Mother help me, don't avert your eyes;
Save me from this horrid sewage of lies

For the lack of our paternal guide;
The son who deflected pain introverted
Mothers, blinded, they were forced to abide
Their creations of madness renewing the sadness

Generations (of) re-enacting their ways
Mothers cry ashamed of what they have made

The cast of the play ranges, but the script never changes
We stand alone in our bloodlines with no one to trust - let alone confine

(We have waited our sons to become) You were waiting your sons to become
(We have saved our words to no one) You were saving our words to none
(Hoping to never turn just like one of them) Swearing to never become his kind
(The Fathers who never have inherited true men) The one who gave us life and left us blind

I curse you by this rhyme
In this hell I'm still blind

I curse you by this rhyme
In this hell I'm still blind
But I will find my own time
Through my line, beyond that gate

Mother, I am sure that you never intended to do me any harm
Mother, I'll cure with the help of love you gave within your arms


DEPARTURE 58
Music by Jouni Koskela (December 2009)
Lyrics by Jouni Koskela (March 2011)

There's no moral to justify the tyranny you put us through
How the hell did this conclusion appear coming out of the blue?
There's nothing you could do or say to make it go away
I don't care of your life in denial, it just doesn't work that way

For sure, no more - adhering your tainted whims
Reach out, collect - the pieces of my fractured limbs

I am stronger than ever to enter this world anew
Where I redefine my identity with something pure
You don't have to wear a pride, a smile or joy inside
Just know there's nothing to do, I'm forged this way for the lifetime ... to come

For sure, no more - adhering your tainted whims
Reach out, collect - the pieces of my fractured limbs

(Released from oppressive behavior, not afraid to become any braver)
(Regained all my rights to receive respective treatment)
That's why I will be complete

I'm not afraid anymore
It's changed now for sure
I discovered my cure
All it took was departure fifty-eight

58 - The place of oppression
58 - And perpetual neglection
58 - Leaving with the stack
I'll never go back

"So this is what hell is
I would've never believed it
The fire, the brimstone, the torture.
Ah, there is no need for torture,
Cause hell .. is other people"
(Jean-Paul Sartre, "No Exit")

But still, there I went to enter the brand new world
With no armaments to fight the injustice against myself
You made sure that I never had the defensive mechanisms
To oppose my adversaries in this travesty of a world we live in

For sure, no more - adhering your tainted whims
Reach out, collect - the pieces of my fractured limbs

58 - The place of oppression
58 - And perpetual neglection
58 - Leaving with the stack
I'll never go back ... to breach my integrity

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