Isabelle's Gift

Chris: Band bios are retarded. Who reads this shit? Jason: Anyhow, right about the time hair metal was laid to rest and Seattle was the thing, these five guys thought they'd start this band. Chris: Are you still reading this? Oh well...the guys that were in the band back then have all gone on to other things...or as some of them would tell you, I have a big ego and fired them. Whatever. I guess it just depends on who you ask. Corporate plug: "Two Jager bombs, please." Jason: I joined the band, we wrote a bunch of songs, went on a couple of tours and realized that we really wanted to do this shit. Obviously we weren't doing it for the money because we don't have a dj and none of us except for Troy can really dance. It was the chemistry and the way we got on that served as a release and kept a few of us out of jail. Chris: So we're OD'ing on the genius of Antiseen, Kyuss, Monster Magnet, Dead Kennedys, Misfits and Circus of Power, and after a couple years of lineup changes we got the right mix. And now another word from our sponsor: "Two more Jager bombs, please." Jason: Check out www.thewjf.com
. It's a website about juggling. Chris: We like to think of this as torture for those of you that have to read this... and then we giggle our asses off. Anyway, our brothers are all about fucking the corporate norm and putting together our own blend of punk rock and arena rock on our terms. Super heroes like Jason... Jason: Hold on...super hero? Maybe...crime fighter? Definitely. A couple of phone calls and a few signatures later, and we're hooked up with Jimmy Franks Industries and Universal Records. They sent us up to Lancaster, PA for a month to record our new album "American Idle," and that brings us up to date. Chris: Not to keep kissing any ass, but 2 more Jager bombs, please. This bio's gonna be really funny to us until later when we're sober. Jason: Hold on...I just told Chris I liked "Load" and "Re-load," and I think he's pissed. Well, here we are...the end of the bio. I'd like to thank Jagermeister and the Backyard Babies for affirming my faith. I'd also like to apologize for the Beastie Boys apologizing for all the shit they pulled back in the day. If you've gotten to the end of this and rolled your eyes more than once, you are a pretentious twat. Chris: Kyle, Troy, and James weren't here for this, and it's kinda rock star of us to voice their opinions for them...so if you want to find anything out about us individually, check out the personal bios.