Darshan: Waking Up (again)


It’s a beautiful morning
Sun shines in and I smell the springtime in the air
I open the curtains and summer greets me out
Lights my face and heart with soft heat
I wake beside you, I kiss you awake
Seeing you smile while lying next to me
Is something I could die for again and again

Then I wake up
Of me pink little dream
That was once reality and true
That has nothing to do with today
And again
As it did yesterday
And day before that
Reality kicks in
And again I remember
Today’s a good day to die

AAAAH!

It only takes nice words and fake hope
To make me feel I do
Turning me from lovely and precious
Into something else
And as moments pass by
I’m even less to you
Less than air
Less than nothing
I’ve become invisible to something I found
So let the beating begin
For I have neither fear nor tears left to bleed anymore

And to all you shiny happy people
Holding hands
All I have to say to you is
FUCK YOU
I hate that light you radiate
I hate your Smile
I hate your spirits and high hopes
You can trust and rely on

And please forgive me my words
I don’t mean half the shit of them
I’m just turning the hate inside out
I’m feeling to make it through today
I’m just trying to leave some mercy for myself
Leave some room for the sorrow
That shatters me and rips me apart

I’m so fucking sorry
For everything