SYMBOLS OF DEFEAT
Music by Jouni Koskela (August 2013)
Lyrics by Jouni Koskela (September 2013)

So now enough time has passed
for me to understand the gravity of this treachery
I must submit myself to admit defeat
transpire my travesties and take the fall

Revoke no reason and plead guilty
Instantiate humility by claiming the loss
I am at loss for words to console myself
From here on out it will only get worse

To seek solace among the throes of this harrowing woe
Poses a fallacy upon the throne of moral code

The guilt trip of this kind although justified
Mutilates the mind without the help of psychic aid

While acknowledging the obvious flaws in the patterns of my thought process
One must account the paradigms that are my sanctuary from the helplessness
Even though I've truly earned this hell I'm in, the self-preserving qualities take the best of me waving flags of retreat, inscribed with symbols of accepting defeat,
loss and bereavement

But as it now seems unraveling my intimacy
evokes a feeling of being undeserving of release

While acknowledging the obvious flaws in the patterns of my thought process
One must account the paradigms that are my sanctuary from the helplessness
Even though I've truly earned this hell I'm in, the self-preserving qualities take the best of me waving flags of retreat, inscribed with symbols of accepting defeat,
loss and bereavement
 
AUTOPHOBIA
Music by Jouni Koskela (June 2012)
Lyrics by Jouni Koskela (June 2013)

The following words are those of a man with a heart in its right place
So would you all please comprehend this duality of a heinous shape
Autophobia, autophobia
Autophobia, awaken the white rage within

This time I opt to forfeit the rights to defend myself by pleading guilty
Embracing my penalty as means to seek redemption somewhere inside of me
Autophobia - suffer forever for every single sin

So whisper me no comforting words for I haven't earned any of them
Abandon me to acquire bliss amid your future tides instantiating Zen
Autophobia, autophobia
Autophobia - for the redemption of our woes
 
WELTSCHMERZ
Music by Jouni Koskela (August 2013)
Lyrics by Jouni Koskela (September 2013)

To understand the concept of love
And all that it means to oneself
Takes a contrast to the outside world
And what the others have defined

Tell me all of those things I've done
And fearfully I would still reiterate
The flaws of my heart aligned with the experience
of this realm I never called home

I can never be the person you need
But I can try to make it worthwhile
And it will be as genuine as it gets
Because I know of nothing else

All in all there is no right or wrong
Nor a compass to dictate my direction
In this maze of impulses, volition prevails
while discarding paths to redemption

I can never be the person you need
But I can try to make it worthwhile
And it will be as genuine as it gets
Because I know of nothing else

I'll try my very best to adapt to your needs
However there'll be no reward for this toil
So give me all the reasons to rediscover integrity
for the sake of overcoming this mortal coil

 
DECLINING DELIVERANCE
Music by Jouni Koskela (May 2002)
Lyrics by Jouni Koskela (August 2013)

I've come aware of the flaws I see in me
And I can't blame if overlooking them was too much of a difficulty
But no matter what you believe, I can't get through to you
(by stating what I truly feel;) my love for you never dies

Being beaten out of empathy
I can't reciprocate such extent of sensibility
But I understand the depths of your suffering;
for me the only way is to let it go

I am now blinded by a stampede of these bleak emotions
that 'll torture the core of my being indefinitely
But no matter what you believe, I can't get through to you
by stating what I truly feel; my love for you never dies

Being beaten out of empathy
I can't reciprocate such extent of sensibility
But I understand the depths of your suffering;
for me the only way is to let it go

But I am so ashamed I reject all possibilities - to balance the universe
Decline my deliverance at the face of my failures - I have earned nothing


 
COMA REVERSED
Music by Jouni Koskela (April 2013)
Lyrics by Jouni Koskela (April 2013)

This time
We come full circle
Reverse all the guilt
With which I had to carry on

This time
I express my gratitude
To all I never addressed
Of all the joy you've given me

This time
I confront the horror
Of the guilt I gave myself
Something I will never live by

All this quiet peace
Made of nothing but me
And what you all have given

I now understand
this was never my home
There was nothing you could've done

As of now, until
the memories of what I was
Clarify what I truly meant for you

Awaken redemption
To ridicule and strike me back
down to dissonance

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